Trump without the hairRepublican multimillionaire John Jordan was given a lucrative winery by his parents. He is Donald Trump without the wild hair. He’s the latest in people who are tired of collecting things- he is collecting people.

In 2013, he cre­ated his own su­per PAC (Americans for Progressive Action), hired his own cam­paign team, and poured more than $1.4 mil­lion of his own money to try and change a Senate race 3000 miles away. His candidate? Re­pub­lic­an Gab­ri­el Gomez, who was in a spe­cial elec­tion 3,000 miles away to fill John Kerry’s Sen­ate seat in Mas­sachu­setts. Reports were that Jordan had nev­er met or spoken to him. Gomez lost the elec­tion. He didn’t cry over his spilled Domaine de la Romanee-Conti Grand Cru. No, not at all.

He’s working on uncorking a new bottle. This time, he’s trying to collect a presidential candidate. Who? Marco Rubio. He’s also so thirsty…

…for a big break. And what better to quench his thirst than millions of dollars raised from wine. Jordan had previously raised money for Scott Walker’s presidential campaign, hosting the Wisconsin governor at his northern California winery. However, Scott was clearly corked and it is apparently time to try and collect another vintage.

Law and the Super PAC

According to, Super PACs were made possible due to the 2010 U.S. Supreme Court decision, Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission decision, which hold that the PAC can accept unlimited donations from corporations, unions and individuals. They may use the funds to support or oppose candidates, but are prohibited from coordinating their spending with campaigns. However, the rules are confusing and both sides use super PACs to allow donors to contribute vast sums of money.

According to the Washington Post:

A set of FEC rules approved in 2010 prohibits a campaign from coordinating with an independent group on a paid communication. The agency laid out specific tests to determine whether a campaign has illegally shared internal strategy used to guide an independent group’s advertising.

About three dozen such super PACs collectively raised more than $266 million from January through June while the campaigns of 2016 presidential hopefuls collectively raised just half that much — about $130 million — according to a Center for Public Integrity review.

The Pun

Baby Got PAC is the latest PAC and is running ads for candidate Marco Rubio in tonight’s debate. Oh, my, God, Hilary, look at that PAC…

Yes, we went there. So did they.


Let’s summarize- you can now make butt jokes while pouring millions into a fund to win friends and influence politicians- sometimes when you never have even met them. Welcome to America.

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